In a relationship…

I don’t know where to start. For as long as I can remember, I never was in a relationship, or wanted to be in one…

  1. My self-esteem about myself, wasn’t the best.
  2. My friends annoyed me with their constant need to be in a relationship.

I always told myself, focus on school and yourself. Which is what resulted to me “talking” to a lot of people. However, after being with Mo for 1 year, officially. I’ve never been happier. I just don’t know what it is. A lot of people have told me that, it’s because it’s my “first” relationship, so that is why it feels like a Honeymoon all the time.

Overall, I’m surprised because all my old thoughts from my younger 20’s have been wiped away by my boyfriend. I always though, I needed constant change from someone to keep my entertained. But Mo and I could be doing nothing and still enjoy each other’s company. I literally, cannot imagine being away from him for long. I hate that I’m so attached. lol.

He’s currently in Arizona, visiting his brothers. He calls me every night, and even this morning. I didn’t make him, he said he wanted to. God, he’s so amazing and cute. He makes me feel so secure and that I don’t have to worry about anyone or anything.

6 Years

If I had knew how fun WordPress was I would have frequently posted on her instead of xanga! I apparently just made the 6 year make with WordPress though. :) How exciting!! I hope to continue with blogging, for my own benefit. I don’t often have a theme around my posts but I hope someone out there enjoys them!

P.S. I’m really really still bummed about how xanga lets me save my blogs, but I can’t really “upload” to my current wordpress. WTH?

The Big 2-3!

My 23rd birthday is coming up. I booked a 4-day (3 nights) over to Oahu just to spend some time there. I’m re-thinking about my life at the moment and I’m feeling quite depressed. I guess that’s just my #scorpio nature? I should be happy, I’m close to graduating, I have a great job… but I just feel empty. I’ve always felt that I should be living on Oahu, on my own, now. But I can’t have everything I have now, if I move. I’ve been looking at jobs on craigslist, looking at other things. I just feel like if I move to Oahu I want to work in the Honolulu, in the city. I don’t really want to be in a rural area, although it looks really nice. :\

I also feel that work isn’t challenging. I used to think it was fun to manage people. But I feel at the moment, it’s really stagnant. I’m focusing a lot on school at the moment, but hopefully everything goes well. I’d really like to finish up. any day now!  I really like to enjoy fun before I die of depression! Lol. Kidding. But really.

I hate that feeling when I’m “talking” to someone and it hits a brick-wall. I get bored easily, I think. I’m tired of just talking, but I feel like I’m not even interested anymore. I’m a conversation type, and I feel if someone can’t carry a conversation with me I’m not even sure. He’s told me that he really doesn’t want to lost me to a wandering soul, but I’m definitely a wandering person. I feel like I can’t be contained. Which leads me to my next depressing thought: Will I ever find someone for me? Maybe this year isn’t my year, although 2012’s prediction for scorpio was spot on financially. We’ll see how 2014 does for me. Perhaps something real.

Anyways, I hope I’m able to have fun.