I don’t know where to start. For as long as I can remember, I never was in a relationship, or wanted to be in one…
My self-esteem about myself, wasn’t the best.
My friends annoyed me with their constant need to be in a relationship.
I always told myself, focus on school and yourself. Which is what resulted to me “talking” to a lot of people. However, after being with Mo for 1 year, officially. I’ve never been happier. I just don’t know what it is. A lot of people have told me that, it’s because it’s my “first” relationship, so that is why it feels like a Honeymoon all the time.
Overall, I’m surprised because all my old thoughts from my younger 20’s have been wiped away by my boyfriend. I always though, I needed constant change from someone to keep my entertained. But Mo and I could be doing nothing and still enjoy each other’s company. I literally, cannot imagine being away from him for long. I hate that I’m so attached. lol.
He’s currently in Arizona, visiting his brothers. He calls me every night, and even this morning. I didn’t make him, he said he wanted to. God, he’s so amazing and cute. He makes me feel so secure and that I don’t have to worry about anyone or anything.
If I had knew how fun WordPress was I would have frequently posted on her instead of xanga! I apparently just made the 6 year make with WordPress though. :) How exciting!! I hope to continue with blogging, for my own benefit. I don’t often have a theme around my posts but I hope someone out there enjoys them!
P.S. I’m really really still bummed about how xanga lets me save my blogs, but I can’t really “upload” to my current wordpress. WTH?
My 23rd birthday is coming up. I booked a 4-day (3 nights) over to Oahu just to spend some time there. I’m re-thinking about my life at the moment and I’m feeling quite depressed. I guess that’s just my #scorpio nature? I should be happy, I’m close to graduating, I have a great job… but I just feel empty. I’ve always felt that I should be living on Oahu, on my own, now. But I can’t have everything I have now, if I move. I’ve been looking at jobs on craigslist, looking at other things. I just feel like if I move to Oahu I want to work in the Honolulu, in the city. I don’t really want to be in a rural area, although it looks really nice. :\
I also feel that work isn’t challenging. I used to think it was fun to manage people. But I feel at the moment, it’s really stagnant. I’m focusing a lot on school at the moment, but hopefully everything goes well. I’d really like to finish up. any day now! I really like to enjoy fun before I die of depression! Lol. Kidding. But really.
I hate that feeling when I’m “talking” to someone and it hits a brick-wall. I get bored easily, I think. I’m tired of just talking, but I feel like I’m not even interested anymore. I’m a conversation type, and I feel if someone can’t carry a conversation with me I’m not even sure. He’s told me that he really doesn’t want to lost me to a wandering soul, but I’m definitely a wandering person. I feel like I can’t be contained. Which leads me to my next depressing thought: Will I ever find someone for me? Maybe this year isn’t my year, although 2012’s prediction for scorpio was spot on financially. We’ll see how 2014 does for me. Perhaps something real.