Unhealthy Relationships

My coworker recently just got married. At first I was excited and happy for her, because they’ve been engaged for over 5 years.

However, for the past year I’ve known her, it’s been nothing but her venting about things she doesn’t like he does. For example, he LOVES to go out with his coworkers (people he already sees 12-14 hours a day) when he’s off work. Which cut into their quality time. He’d rather drag her to the bar WITH him and his friends so they could all hang out. On their honeymoon, they hung out with HIS friends. It seems he has a dependency on his friends.  She’s expressed how she feels to him, but it falls on deaf ears.

I feel bad for her because my boyfriend is so thoughtful and treates me how she wants to be treated by her husband. Yikes.

Before she went through with her marriage, another coworker and I were discussing how afraid we were for her, because he puts in more effort than he does when it comes to the relationship. Even though we’ve told her, she still decided to marry him and put up with it.

Sometimes people in unhealthy relationships don’t hear this, even thought hey should remove themselves from the situation. What would you do if this was someone you cared about?

Boundaries

You know what’s hard? Boundaries. 

Even when you’re in a “strong” relationship, there are boundaries. We’re all raised differently, and exposed to different ways of handling things. So my boundaries, might not be the same as yours.

It’s really hard when you are being open about your thoughts and feelings, only to feel wrong, when the other person has exposed their feelings.

Has this ever happened to you? Did this epiphany bring you closer? Did you accept that things will just be different for you two, in regards to that subject? Do all problems HAVE to have a resolution?

Dating: To be or not to be?

Current situation: Too many guys

So, in my previous entry I had stated that I start out talking to too many guys. I’m single, is that wrong?

I think I start off talking to so many people because I’m honestly bored with life. My routine is literally the same every day, I wake up, I go to work, I come home, I do homework, shower, eat, sleep. But in my in between time, I get to talk to someone whose witty or interesting it makes time seem to slow down just a bit. Sometimes the attention makes me smile. Is that wrong?

My cousin, K, she’s on-and-off with her boyfriend K.Lana. I think she started talking to him in the same context, how I talk to my guy friends. It just starts off as friends. However, the difference between K and I is that, she is always in a relationship.

I don’t feel like that is for me. I will not assume that I’m dating someone because we’ve talked for 3 months, you know? It’s really weird to me. Let alone, a guy I’ve never met before. That’s extremely weird. But for me I’d like to gradually build a friendship and take it from there, I don’t feel I should exclusively hop into a relationship with someone while we’re “talking” or getting to know each other. But that’s me!

So for people who are in happy relationships, what works? Did you hop into an exclusive relationship right away? Or did you get to know each other as friends first?