Dating: To be or not to be?

Current situation: Too many guys

So, in my previous entry I had stated that I start out talking to too many guys. I’m single, is that wrong?

I think I start off talking to so many people because I’m honestly bored with life. My routine is literally the same every day, I wake up, I go to work, I come home, I do homework, shower, eat, sleep. But in my in between time, I get to talk to someone whose witty or interesting it makes time seem to slow down just a bit. Sometimes the attention makes me smile. Is that wrong?

My cousin, K, she’s on-and-off with her boyfriend K.Lana. I think she started talking to him in the same context, how I talk to my guy friends. It just starts off as friends. However, the difference between K and I is that, she is always in a relationship.

I don’t feel like that is for me. I will not assume that I’m dating someone because we’ve talked for 3 months, you know? It’s really weird to me. Let alone, a guy I’ve never met before. That’s extremely weird. But for me I’d like to gradually build a friendship and take it from there, I don’t feel I should exclusively hop into a relationship with someone while we’re “talking” or getting to know each other. But that’s me!

So for people who are in happy relationships, what works? Did you hop into an exclusive relationship right away? Or did you get to know each other as friends first?


Dating: My Problem

My problem with dating….

  • I start off with “talking” to too many guys.
  • One date doesn’t equal a relationship
  • I catch feelings
  • I’m somewhat possessive
  • I’m jealous
  • I don’t speak my mind.

It’s so hard to find and meet people on this island, so I talk to strangers. I never really have intent on meeting anyone off the internet, but last year I got a bit adventurous.. I met a few people and it was fun. You know? You talk to someone for a long long time and when you finally meet it’s like oh wow, this is greater than texting.

My thing is… I hate dating. I hate the concept of it. It’s like how do I date ONE person and see if it’s going to lead to a relationship. I speed up the process by talking to a few different guys. I have a hold on people because some of them I talk to for months and months or years and never having met.

Sometimes, I fixate on feelings for ONE guy and I feel it’s serious. So we exchange the whole pet name, “Babe. Baby.” But I have to keep reminding myself that doesn’t mean we’re in a relationship!! Right now? I think I caught feelings and I’m jealous that he’s dating other people, at least he’s not IN a relationship with other people?

Stagnant Friendships

I made a big big boo-boo. You know I’ve heard that saying that girls and guys can never be friends, and I always thought… “That’s Impossible!” Okay, it’s true!

I think it was two years ago, my best friend who moved to Texas, posted something onto Facebook and then her friend from Texas added me on FB. I figured, what the hey, I’ll add him as a friend. No intentions of even thinking we’d be more than Facebook friends. He had joined the Navy or something, so I didn’t expect to hear from him anyways.

Anyways, I guess when he got out, he was super super desperate for a GF and he tried it out with my best friend, but she brushed him off. He dated a few other people, or I guess I should say, went on a few dates. Somehow, he ended up messaging me and we were talking… I had no intentions of liking/dating/starting a relationship, but I guess he did!

I booked a trip to visit Texas, which I later cancelled. Part of it was him. He kept telling me, “I can’t wait for us to meet. It’s my dream come true.” Which really scares and intimidates me! Part of it was her. She got a new boyfriend, whom I hear is really unmotivated. She buys him groceries and food. O__O So I just have a feeling I’d be 3rd wheel. She’s a known ditcher (will explain later).  I also cancelled it because I’m really really stressed with school. :\ I’ll use it later on, for something else ;)

But now I’m at the point where he texts or calls me, incessantly. How do I tell him? I’ve expressed that when we first started talking… I wasn’t trying to get a boyfriend and at this point in time, I’m not dating or seeing anyone, but I prefer to be alone. How do you move on from a friendship or relationship that went sour? It’s just at a point where he annoys me! #HELP

Anyways, I have 3 more exams to do. :\ First time this has happened where all exams fell into the same week.



On a side note, is it weird that the guy is now the possessive one and worried about me liking stuff on Instagram/Facebook. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells! (Will explain in the next post).