Remnants

Usually, I do not add a “significant” other on Facebook, because in the past I’ve had “old love interests” on my Facebook and it’s a HASSLE when you and them go separate ways. It’s awkward seeing these old remnants on your FB and for all the world (or your friends) to see this when it pops up on Facebook Memories.

I’ve been going through my Facebook memories and I saw an old post from 2010 of someone who I used to like, and his comments were spray all over my posts in that time. I tried to go through the posts around that time to delete the rest of the remnants. But there is still MORE out there. AAH!

I wish Facebook made a feature to delete all comments made by an ex off your profile lol.

Dating: My Problem

My problem with dating….

  • I start off with “talking” to too many guys.
  • One date doesn’t equal a relationship
  • I catch feelings
  • I’m somewhat possessive
  • I’m jealous
  • I don’t speak my mind.

It’s so hard to find and meet people on this island, so I talk to strangers. I never really have intent on meeting anyone off the internet, but last year I got a bit adventurous.. I met a few people and it was fun. You know? You talk to someone for a long long time and when you finally meet it’s like oh wow, this is greater than texting.

My thing is… I hate dating. I hate the concept of it. It’s like how do I date ONE person and see if it’s going to lead to a relationship. I speed up the process by talking to a few different guys. I have a hold on people because some of them I talk to for months and months or years and never having met.

Sometimes, I fixate on feelings for ONE guy and I feel it’s serious. So we exchange the whole pet name, “Babe. Baby.” But I have to keep reminding myself that doesn’t mean we’re in a relationship!! Right now? I think I caught feelings and I’m jealous that he’s dating other people, at least he’s not IN a relationship with other people?

The Big 2-3!

My 23rd birthday is coming up. I booked a 4-day (3 nights) over to Oahu just to spend some time there. I’m re-thinking about my life at the moment and I’m feeling quite depressed. I guess that’s just my #scorpio nature? I should be happy, I’m close to graduating, I have a great job… but I just feel empty. I’ve always felt that I should be living on Oahu, on my own, now. But I can’t have everything I have now, if I move. I’ve been looking at jobs on craigslist, looking at other things. I just feel like if I move to Oahu I want to work in the Honolulu, in the city. I don’t really want to be in a rural area, although it looks really nice. :\

I also feel that work isn’t challenging. I used to think it was fun to manage people. But I feel at the moment, it’s really stagnant. I’m focusing a lot on school at the moment, but hopefully everything goes well. I’d really like to finish up. any day now!  I really like to enjoy fun before I die of depression! Lol. Kidding. But really.

I hate that feeling when I’m “talking” to someone and it hits a brick-wall. I get bored easily, I think. I’m tired of just talking, but I feel like I’m not even interested anymore. I’m a conversation type, and I feel if someone can’t carry a conversation with me I’m not even sure. He’s told me that he really doesn’t want to lost me to a wandering soul, but I’m definitely a wandering person. I feel like I can’t be contained. Which leads me to my next depressing thought: Will I ever find someone for me? Maybe this year isn’t my year, although 2012’s prediction for scorpio was spot on financially. We’ll see how 2014 does for me. Perhaps something real.

Anyways, I hope I’m able to have fun.